Stupidity
by eishi
Summary: If you were stupid enough to disturb Mitarashi Anko while she was asleep, you deserved to be punished with death. Nothing was important enough to tear her from bed in the middle of the night. And then came that one little exception... NaruAnko, oneshot


**A/N:** Blame my subconscious mind, not me. I've done nothing wrong.

Yeah… I have nothing to say, really. Except that if you find this pairing offending, you should probably leave now. Just click that back-button over there. To be precise: this contains an idea of a minor and an adult together. Nothing worse than that, just a what-if thought. And I should note, too, that it's been ages since I've watched the episodes that Anko was in, so my impression of her might be a bit... off. Anyway. Just ignore that, will you?

Please give me tips about the language and correct the grammar to your heart's content, because English is not my mother tongue. I'd be really happy to improve. Thanks for reading in advance!

**Pairing:** Naruto/Anko

**Warnings:** Naruto being 13 and Anko being 24.

**Disclaimer:** I, sadly, don't own Naruto or any of its characters. Although I sure wish I did.

_Revised on 3.3.2008._

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**_Stupidity_**

_by eishi (2007)_

* * *

There were few things that Mitarashi Anko wholeheartedly appreciated, and sleeping was one of them. She knew nothing better than coming back home from a long and boring mission, changing into her oldest pair of pyjamas and falling asleep on her gorgeous and enormous bed, originally meant for two people. The bed was old, like her favourite pair of pyjamas, too, but she had bought the most expensive sheets and pillows she could've found and combined those with nice, comfortably worn-out mattress. Her favourite moment of the day was when she finally was able to come home, make a cup of tea and take a nap on her own private heaven. There was nothing to compare to that. (Well, a plate of dangos could sometimes rival that.) 

So if you were stupid enough to disturb Mitarashi Anko while she was asleep, about to fall asleep, about to go to bed, or anywhere near her bed, you deserved to be punished with death. Nothing was important enough to tear her from her bed in the middle of the night – or in the middle of the day, for that matter. Anyone who had worked with Anko had had to witness this lunacy for once before they learned, and those who didn't… Well, Anko had never had to work with those uncivilized monkeys more than twice.

Because Anko's obsession with sleeping was one of those well-known facts, those that passed from mouth to mouth and even outside the village's borders, she was extremely surprised to wake up one night two o'clock to a stubborn knocking onto her bedroom window. At first she thought that she had just had a bad dream, decided to go back to sleep and forget about the imaginary sound that had taken three irreplaceable sleeping minutes from her. She turned to her other side, mumbled something – already half-asleep – and let her mind wander into the depths of her sweet imaginary kingdom.

Then she heard the knocking again.

Her eyes shot open and she listened carefully, only to note that the knocking was not a bad dream. Someone was actually knocking into her window.

And that someone was about to die.

Anko jumped to her feet, glared at the unknown intruder – who was just a shadow peeking behind the curtains – marched right to the window and threw the curtains violently away. She blinked, as she recognized her mysterious midnight guest.

"Can I come in?" Uzumaki Naruto asked timidly. He was wearing his usual attire – minus the headband, which was resting on his lap. His face was flushed, and the whisker-lines on his cheeks looked more like scars than adorable decorations, which they usually were. He was staring into his lap, right to his headband, and avoided carefully Anko's questioning gaze.

Normally Anko would have shoved him out and thrown her whole arsenal of kunais after him, but there was something in his eyes that made her weight her decision. After an awkward silence, which felt more like two hours than the two seconds it actually took, Anko finally nodded and stepped backwards. The Uzumaki boy seemed astonished to believe her approval and remained where he was, until Anko took a grip of the curtains and threatened push him down, if he wasn't inside before she closed them. Naruto jumped in, and Anko closed the window. She did it very slowly to win some time, although she had no idea, why she wanted to win any time.

"And now I'd like some kind of an explanation," she said as she turned to face Naruto – but all she could see was his family crest on his back. Naruto stared down, back to her, and said nothing. Anko tapped her elbow with her fingers and swallowed the nasty comment she was about to say. Naruto was seemingly trembling.

She sighed, walked back to her bed and sat down. Naruto jumped a bit, as he felt the mattress alight and brush against his leg. Anko waited patiently, although patience wasn't one of her virtues. She tapped in a fast pace her elbow, and told herself to wait.

"What gives me this honour?" she finally asked, when she couldn't take the silence anymore. Naruto got a grip of his nerves, straightened up and turned around. His face was still red and he was squeezing his headband with more force than needed, but at least he had managed to raise his eyes from the floor to meet Anko's. They stared at each other, until Naruto mumbled at last:

"Iwanttommmg."

"What?" Anko subconsciously already knew what the boy had said, but her practical side refused to pay attention to that conclusion. "What did you say?"

Naruto took a deep breath and said, this time more clearly:

"You know that I'm leaving tomorrow?"

"With Jiraiya? Yeah, he's practically shouted the news from the rooftops." Anko had still no idea why he was here (she didn't count her subconsciously made inference) – she had no contact with the boy. They had met a couple of times after the destruction of Konoha, and she had been his team leader twice because Kakashi had been elsewhere on a mission. She recalled rebuilding something together with his team and – now that she thought about it – teasing him more than was propel. But that couldn't be the reason for his last-evening visit? She had never hurt him like the other villagers, and she barely knew him. She had always thought that if Naruto wanted to say goodbyes at the last moment, he would go to see Iruka. Or that Haruno girl. Or Kakashi. Or the ramen stand's owner. Or even Fifth Hokage Tsunade.

The point was, definitely not her. By the tails of Kyuubi, they hadn't spoken more than five sentences together!

… Or maybe six. Or seven. Fine, make that seventeen… or maybe even one hundred and seventeen. (They had shared a few nicely-flowing trades of insults, which Anko had always seen as fun. There was nothing better than to tease a boy who was known to lose his head easily.) But the point still was that they barely knew each other. So why on earth would Naruto be at Anko's bedroom, of all the places, at two o'clock in the morning?

"Erm, anyway…" Naruto coughed, and Anko turned her attention back to him, "so… I'm leaving in the morning, and I thought… er… you know…"

Anko was tapping her elbow even faster. _You better get there quickly_, she thought bitterly. _By now you've taken six precious minutes from me._

"Well, I, uh… erm…"

Apparently he wasn't going to get anywhere without her help.

"Just say it!" she snapped, harsher than she had intended. Naruto's blush took even a deeper shade of red, one that rivalled the colour of Kyuubi's eyes. He stuttered, furiously blushing:

"I-I-I wa-wa-want to… to…"

"I didn't know you had taken speech lessons from Hyuuga Hinata."

"TO MAKE LOVE TO YOU!"

Complete silence fell over them, and for once, Anko couldn't find a witty answer from her enormous brain storage. Now this was a situation she hadn't ever been in.

Silence.

Naruto shifted his legs.

Silence.

Anko gaped at him.

Silence.

The other hand of the clock ticked forward by one measure.

Silence.

"What did you say?" Anko gasped.

"You heard me."

"Maybe I _heard_, but I wasn't _listening_."

"You know what I mean."

Anko's brain was finally catching up. She blinked once, twice, then mumbled:

"This isn't one of your improper pranks, isn't it?"

Naruto shook his head, and then the thought hit Anko on full force: _Oh god. He's really asking me to…_

She refused to let her mind wander there. It was sick, it was wrong; she shouldn't be tempted by the idea! She _wasn't_!

"You've gone mad."

"I'm not!" Naruto was still heavily blushing, and couldn't look Anko straight in the eye. "I just… thought… that I'll… I'll be gone for a long time, and, and… If someone—something happened to you…"

A rare, real smile spread on Anko's face, and she felt suddenly very touched by the boy's words. "That's a nice idea, sweetie, but you realise something?"

"Huh?" Naruto's eyes seemed to get even bigger and bluer when he was confused. Anko combed her hair with her fingers and said slowly:

"You forgot to count my opinion. What if I don't want to have sex with you?"

Naruto's hair was made stand on its end when he heard the word "sex", and he was having trouble to make a whole sentence:

"Th-th-that's wh-wh-what I-I… came to-to-to ask you!" He sighed and half-turned to the window. "But-but if that's your decision, I'll… I'll just get going…"

"I never said I didn't want to," Anko shrugged. Naruto froze.

"What?"

"I didn't give you my answer."

Naruto turned his head and looked at Anko, who was smiling wickedly. She tapped the mattress next to her, and Naruto sat down, looking a bit suspicious. Anko crossed her hands.

"Now then, why me?"

Naruto had been expecting this question, because he answered almost right away: "You've been on my mind since that Chuunin test. That second part, you remember?"

"Of course I do," Anko answered and cocked an eyebrow. "And I also remember telling someone particular Kyuubi-carrier that he was a nuisance."

"No, your exact words were: 'Boys like you die the fastest'."

"Pity that you didn't. You had five days full of danger and you didn't."

"That just proves that I'm not a boy like that!"

"No, that just proves that you were lucky."

They were both silent after that: Anko was staring into the space and Naruto was playing with his headband. After a long silence Anko finally said:

"I think you'd better be going. You're having an early wake up."

"But…"

"Just go, OK?" she snapped. "And pretend that this didn't ever happen. I'd gladly forget this episode."

"Don't you really understand what I'm saying?" Naruto jumped to his feet and glared at her. "Dammit, Anko, I want to fuck you!"

If his face had been red, now it was even redder, surpassing the shades of Kyuubi. Anko stared at him for a moment, then grinned in her typical fashion.

"Look, now, fox-boy… You're too young to even understand the term 'to fuck' completely. I bet you haven't even kissed anyone yet."

"I-I-I…"

"Let me give you one advice, though," she continued, "don't use words you possibly can't comprehend. It makes you look even stupider than you are."

"I know what it means!"

"No, you don't."

"Why is it so hard for you to understand that someone might possibly be thinking of you?"

This statement caught Anko off guard and let her staring into the vast blueness of his eyes. The blush was gone from his cheeks, and the look of his face was pure determination – quite the same she had seen him give her when she had once questioned him about becoming a Hokage. In his mind there was no place for doubts or regrets. He was telling all his true feelings and believing in those from the bottom of his heart.

Somehow that made Anko feel like a wrenched old hag who had nothing better to do than stare at the world cynically, without any trust to the future.

"It's not that," she finally said, still feeling a little upset, "it's just… you're still a child."

"I'm not a—"

"Yes, you are, and denying it won't make it any better." She shook her head. "Don't tempt me, fox-boy. Now go home, sleep a couple of hours and rise and shine in the morning with Jiraiya, and go to train. Maybe you'll forget about this madness in those couple of months you'll be spending with that pervert."

"I won't forget it! I've been thinking about this ever since that mission!"

"'That mission'?"

"You know, the one when we were repairing that stupid governmental-something in the borders of the village."

"I don't recall," she said coldly.

The truth was, naturally, just the opposite. Of course she remembered. She had treasured those memories as her most precious ones. That had been her best weekend ever – even if she hadn't been able to sleep in whole two days, even if that Uchiha boy had kept maliciously glaring at her, even if that Haruno girl had made her desperate enough to consider suicide just to get away from witnessing the downfall of female sex, and even if the other teams around them had continually disturbed their work… All those things had mysteriously disappeared when she had looked into the eyes of that one little, naïve, stubborn, stupid boy. All those things vanished from her mind when she had had the chance to trade a few well-selected insults with him, when she had been able to talk to him for a minute or two. The more she had talked to him, the more she had really seen him – the more she had liked. He was different. He brought life and belief wherever he went. If you looked into his eyes, you felt strange courage rise from somewhere deep inside of you. His unending belief made you believe too.

_I've been reading too much poetry in the last weeks_, Anko thought and pushed her memories back. Naruto was looking at her, eyes filled with sadness. A pang of regret hit Anko. _Holy… I've really become attached to him, without even noticing._

"You're underage."

"And you're being a bore!"

"Naruto…" He stirred, and Anko suddenly realised that she had called him by his name for the first time ever. She bravely continued, trying to sound calm: "Go home. You know perfectly well that I possibly couldn't do such a thing with you. You're a minor. I'd be staring at the ceiling in a cold cell before you could even say 'believe it'."

Naruto looked at his feet, dangling his headband sadly. "I know… I know. Sorry." He put on his headband, still looking at his feet. "Sorry for waking you. Er, I… I'll just go now. Bye."

They turned at the same time – Naruto to the window and Anko to look at her wall like it was the most interesting thing in the world. Naruto opened the window and climbed on the sill. He was just about to jump down, when Anko finally found her voice:

"You know, there's something I can do, and it won't make me look like a paedophile."

Naruto glanced at her over his shoulder, suspicion written all over his face. "What is it?"

Anko grinned, tripped her way to him and looked him right in the eye. "Now close your eyes."

"While you push me down?"

"Have some respect towards your elders, boy." She was about to comment that if he couldn't even trust her in this simple gesture, how on earth could he trust her in between the sheets, but bit the comment back. "Just do as I say," she added sternly.

Naruto cocked his eyebrows, but did as told. Anko bent forward, put a finger on his lips and placed a kiss on his cheek. She let it last a bit longer than it should have, but couldn't blame herself: the look on Naruto's face made up for everything she had had to put up with this evening. He stared at her, pink blush on his cheeks and happiness slowly occupying his sky-blue eyes. Anko smiled at him and took a few steps backwards.

"Come see me, when you return. _And_ when you're of legal age. I might not reject you."

Naruto grinned, in that typical way of his that made her feel oddly happy inside, and nodded. "Yeah. I probably will. See you."

"Just go. I've wasted twenty minutes of my life to talk nonsense."

Naruto smiled, and she replied with a grin. Then he jumped down to the street, and she closed the window. She followed his back draw away, and when she couldn't see any more of him, closed the curtains and went back to bed.

_'__Come see me, when you return…' I've really gone nuts_, she thought as she pulled the cover over her. Then she recalled his wide grin, his blue eyes of the shade of belief, and smiled in spite of the fact that she had just made a pass at a child _and_ a complete idiot. _Then again… maybe he has, too._

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_End._


End file.
